it's never too late to apologize. never too late to love.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

shucks!!! fuck up!!!! wa liao!!!

hais..hp kena confiscated.

jus pray hard he don see e contents inside..

especially e smses..

y always they worry in this way..

so sorry tt tis don get thru me hor..

i already very guai compared to others le hor..

i did not dye my hair till "bu san bu si" l0r..

i did not run away from home

i did not cut myself

i did not had many ear holes..

i did not mixed wid ah lians and ah bengs..

i already very guai l0r!!!

at my age i shld b enjoying!!! not under CONTROL!!!!

i'm not an adult!!!

i need 2 play!!!!!

everyday its either skul or band..

To: my dad..

hey if you don lyk my bands its alrite but i will nvr quit cuz i'll die...

i will really die!!

but u cannot snatch away e youthfulness tt i muz hav at tis age..

jie jie and kor kor all grown up adults le..

but i'm not!!!
i'm only 17!!!

i had a very super big age gap wid them!

its 4 yrs, 6 yrs, 8 yrs and 9yrs respectively!

so u cannot expect me 2 behave e same way they did!!

and if they can hang out every sun, y cant i?

if they can go out everyday without having to go skul, y cant i?

y do u always hav 2 blame mummy 1st whn things go wrong wid e family??

did u urself keep track wadz gng on with e family anot?

everytime is mummy call de l0r..

u only noe how 2 call and scold!

its wrong way of communication tt u use!!

and its the WRONG way of worrying, caring and loving..

i noe u love us all, i noe u tried 2 provide us wid everything cuz according 2 wad u hav experienced you din hav much privilage lyk us now.

but tt doesnt mean u care 4 us lyk tt..

u care 4 us on e outside, wad time we come home, worry as a parent. i noe

i all noe..

but thn did u care how i feel..

if u're e kid, u hav a father who will scold u if u do things tt are not acceptable to him lyk playing and fooling ard..everytime u ans e call u'll get scolding from him, thn will u still ans e call??

he still ask me y i don wanna ans e call, i'm scared!!!

everytime u scold, i'm so tired of it tt i don wanna bother.

if i sae tis rite at ur face, how would u feel?

u'll tink tt u hav not done enough, but thn you shld sae "i shld change another way of caring".

i'm feel so sourly sad in my heart.

i noe its diff from wad we desire, but y cant i hav my parents 2 b more forgiving?

as in, for example, they will talk nicely to u, not scolding!

by scolding u are showing ur authority and u will make e person even more scared of u..

tell u wad..

since u take away my hp,

i will do as my normal..

i will c if mon got anything, if not i will go home 4 dinner..

tue i will not go home tt early..i will hang ard till i happy..wed not skul but i go piano..i'm so gng 2 tke my own sweet time 2 go home..thurs i got band, btw i'm gng rpws not sws.. thn i will tke my time go home..fri after skul tt i will walk ard b4 i go home...sat i will lock myself in e room, i will not pick up any call, i will only b online, sun i'm gng band again..i will go till very very very super late. i will c wad happen.

11:24 PM